


Schoolyard Avengers

by crazypony37



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Elementary School, Alternate Universe - School, Bruce has anger issues, Clint and Nat are weird playground mercenaries, Deaf Clint, Gen, Principal Nick Fury, Steve is tiny, Teacher Maria Hill, Teacher Phil Coulson, Thor is a foreign student, Tony is the new kid, full team
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-19
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-13 01:12:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1207288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazypony37/pseuds/crazypony37
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark was only at his school for two weeks when Justin Hammer started bullying him. He was willing to deal with it until the little creep took his beloved WALL-E toy. Now he's taken it upon himself to gather a team of misfits and take the toy back.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you who might want to keep these things straight.
> 
> Fourth Grade: Clint and Natasha  
> Fifth Grade: Tony, Bruce, Loki, and Steve  
> Sixth Grade: Thor, Justin, and Ivan

 

“Hey Anthony!”

“It’s Tony, call me Tony.”

The young brunette looked up from the ground. Tony had thought he was alone on the swing - he often was - so he was surprised to see someone running over to him.

“I would call you Tony, but to have a nickname you kind of need friends first,” the kid sneered.

Justin Hammer.

Tony hated that kid more than anything else, even wedgies. He was a snot nosed sixth grade punk who made up for his lack of an actual personality, not to mention those horrible glasses he wore, by transposing his anger on others. Tony was the new kid, having only been at this school for two weeks, and a grade below Justin. Naturally he was the bully’s favorite target.

He stopped swinging when Justin was in front of his swing. Kicking Justin, even if it was an accident, would give the brat all the excuse he needed to get Tony in real trouble.

“I have friends,” Tony retorted, his hatred evident in his tone.

“Are you sure? The closest thing to a friend I’ve ever seen with you is that stupid robot you carry around.”

Tony looked down in dismay to the WALL-E toy in his hand. Justin was right, he didn’t have any friends. He could have friends, lots of friends if he really wanted to. Being friendless and miserable was all part of his plan to get his Father to move them back to his old neighborhood and re-enroll him in his old school. Then he could be with his best friends James and Pepper again. After two weeks Tony was proud to say that his plan… hadn’t worked at all and he didn’t appreciate Justin rubbing his loneliness in his face.

“Why did you come over here?” Tony growled.

“No reason in particular,” the kid leant against the leg of the swing set. “You just looked pathetic and I thought my presence might brighten your day.”

“Oh, haha very funny,” Tony forcibly laughed.

Other students were starting to gather around the swing set, like in a bad movie. Tony had seen enough of those bad movies to know that crowds of children in a schoolyard meant that something bad was about to happen, to him most likely.

“Why don’t you go away Justin, before I punch you square in the face.”

“Oh sure, yeah I’m leaving,” Justin’s hand shot out from his side and grabbed the WALL-E toy before Tony knew what happened. “Why don’t I take this with me?”

“Hey! Give that back!” Tony shouted. He jumped from his swing, fists clenched.

“I don’t think I will.”

Justin turned on his heels and began to walk away, tapping the toy on his chin as he walked.

Tony didn’t care if he would get in trouble anymore. As far as he was concerned, any amount of detention was well worth the end of two weeks of harassment and the life of his precious toy, especially if he broke the jerk’s glasses. As soon as he was close enough, he swung his fist without reservation.

It connected with skin, but not the fleshy mass of Hammer’s face. Ivan, some freaky longhaired Russian kid that followed Justin around, came out of nowhere and grabbed Tony’s hand.

“Now why’d you do that?” Tony asked. “I know for a fact that you want to see him punched as much as I do.”

Ivan hated Justin – really everyone did to some extent, the kid was a jerk – but apparently he disliked Tony more. The brunette had never paid attention to the reason, something about his ingrained sense of entitlement or whatever.

“Why don’t you let me go and-”

The Russian shoved his hand back hard enough to offset his balance. Tony had to take a step backwards to avoid falling on his butt. Justin had turned around, lecherous smile on his face as he shook the toy. Tony charged forward, only to be stopped once again by Ivan.

“Break it up kids!” barked a loud voice.

Principal Fury had found his way over to their side of the playground. He towered over the children, looking down on them with one eye. There were several rumors circulating around the school as to what had happened to the other eye, the main one revolving around a massive shootout (the man was an ex-SWAT member after all), but regardless it was gone. Fury had covered it with an eye-patch, which was rather intimidating but a bit foolish considering his job was to watch hundreds of children. Justin took advantage of the Principals bad side and slipped WALL-E into his back pocket without notice.

“Hammer, Vanko, go cause trouble somewhere I can’t see you.”

Justin looked like he was about to say something, but Ivan pulled him away. Once they were gone, Fury turned his eye on Tony.

“Stark.”

“Fury.”

The man’s eye narrowed.

“I’ve been informed of your petulant tendencies,” he stated. Fury’s voice was like stone. “You’ve done well here so far, don’t mess up.”

Tony rolled his eyes as the man walked away. It wasn’t like he had done anything. He was the victim of a vicious toy robbery! Where was this whole “80’s movie scolding authority figure” shtick when Justin was around?

He kicked the ground in frustration and watched as pebbles scattered. The school bell rang, signaling the end of recess. Tony wandered to the door, falling in line with the children milling back into the school. Silently he cursed Justin, Justin’s stupid face, Justin’s stupid friends, and his father for thinking it was a good idea to move to this town.

 

* * *

 

Twenty minutes into class his rage had quieted into a mild aggravation. It was impossible for him to keep up a steady stream of anger when he was busy being bored to death. Their teacher, Mister Coulson, was attempting to teach his students math of some sort. Tony wasn’t paying attention, there was no point; he had learnt it all. His last school had been forced to put him with eighth graders to keep him occupied.

So he let his mind wander, contemplating the various ways he could get back at Justin and debating the pros and cons of passive aggressiveness.

“Hey Tony,” whispered the kid on his left.

“What!”

Tony was startled from his resting position. He may have been slightly asleep on his desk.

“Who said the what’s it,” he looked to his left. “Oh it’s just you Rogers.”

Steve Rogers was the second biggest thorn in Tony’s side. It wasn’t that he was obnoxious or anything, in fact he was a genuinely nice person. The problem was he was too nice. He had good grades, a super cool friend, a possible girlfriend that was way out of his tiny breathing impaired league but still liked him for some reason, and was the obvious favorite of their teacher. Steve was clearly some weird robot. Tony was waiting for his circuits to overload, maybe then he could reprogram him to be his butler or something.

“Yeah it’s me,” Steve answered. “Shouldn’t you be paying attention?”

“Steve, I can multiply three digit numbers in my head. Why should I take time to learn how to do it on paper?”

The small blond rolled his eyes.

“Anything would be better than whatever you’re thinking about now. You’ve got a look on your face that says you’re up to no good.”

Another reason Tony avoided Steve: the kid could read him like a book.

He had been thinking about Justin and his face, and how it totally would have gotten punched if Ivan hadn’t been there. This train of thought had sparked an idea: what if Tony had someone there with him, or more than one someone.

“I want form a team to beat the crap out of Justin Hammer,” Tony blurted without thought.

He realized too late that of all the people to share his plan with, Steve probably should have been the last. A second later he shrugged it off. Someone should hear his stroke of genius before Coulson found out and shut it down. Coulson always found out.

“Tony, you can’t just go and beat someone up!”

Steve sounded aghast; Tony took that as a good sign.

“Well I mean, I wouldn’t form the group to exclusively beat him up. We’d mostly just scare him a bit.” Tony turned sideways in his seat to fully face Steve. He looked the blond in the eye before continuing. “Aren’t you tired of him harassing people? Maybe if enough people banded together we could get him to stop.”

Steve leaned back in his chair.

“I’m in,” he said after a moment’s deliberation.

“I wasn’t inviting you Steve.”

Tony turned back to face the chalkboard, even if he wasn’t going to look at what was written on it.

“And I said I’m in,” Steve repeated more firmly this time. “I don’t like bullies.”

“Steve, please” he looked the blonde dead in the eye. “You can’t do this. I’m sure you’ll have this massive growth spurt in high school and tower over the rest of us, but for now you’re still as sixty pound asthmatic.”

“You don’t need strength to face your enemies, just the will to do so.”

Steve crossed his arms and glared at the brunette. Tony shrugged and looked away from him, hoping Steve would drop the issue. He was not going to be responsible for any injuries that Steve may get. Bucky would come all the way over from the Junior High and kick his butt.

He turned his head real quick to look at Steve. His arms were still crossed.

“You won’t tell Coulson?” Tony sighed, giving in to the blonde’s stubbornness. From the corner of his eye he watched Steve mouth the word ‘never’.

And thus Tony had the first member of his team.

 

* * *

 

“So who do you think we should recruit next?”

The school day was over and Tony was itching to leave. Steve had to practically run to keep up with the boy’s fast pace.

“I have no idea,” Tony waved his hands as he talked, hitting a few first graders in the process. “My plans weren’t even fully made when you forced me into this whole mess.”

“I didn’t force you into anything. I’m just making sure you don’t burn the place down.”

“Whatever.”

Tony burst through the school’s front door, pausing a moment on top step to look around dramatically. When Steve passed him by Tony continued on, walking side by side with the blond. After a few minutes of actual friendly conversation in class, they had come to find out that their houses were only a few blocks apart. Now they were walking home together to better discuss their plans.

“Maybe we should get someone who is actually strong, just in case things do get violent.”

“Who the heck is going to join a team we just made if you run up to them and say ‘hey will you stand next to me and take any punches Justin Hammer might throw at me’?”

Tony stopped halfway down the stairs. He turned to Steve, both shocked and proud of the highly sarcastic tone the blond had used.

“Wow,” he chuckled. “Well then, allow me to find someone and prove you wrong.”

Tony diverted his eyes to the crowd of children rushing to the busses. He saw several kids big enough to fit their needs, but none that would likely talk to him. They were all too socially developed; to fill the team roster he was going to have to play up the misfit motif.

Then he noticed a mass of flaxen hair weaving through the crowd.

“Found him!” Tony shouted.

He took the rest of the stairs in one jump and hit the ground running.

“Hey!” Steve called after him. “Wait up!”

Tony didn’t listen. He pushed through the crowd of students, ignoring the shouts of Steve and the kids that fell over. Everything was pushed to the back of his mind by his need to get to his target before they did something stupid, like get on a bus and go home.

“Thor! Hey... buddy!” Tony panted, placing a hand on the blonde's shoulder.

Thor Odinson was a grade ahead of Tony, and it showed. The kid was huge, like gigantic, with muscles like a ninth grade wrestler - which granted isn’t a lot but still, more than most twelve year olds. No one said anything negative about his long, flowing hair (besides a few jealous girls).  

“It is you... calling me buddy?” Thor questioned as he turned around.

He did get some flak for the way he talked though. Being recently moved from some Scandinavian country, thus the weird name, he hadn’t quite gotten a hang of English.

“Of course it is brother, why else would the dolt be holding your shoulder?”

Thor’s younger (rumored adopted) brother, Loki, stepped from behind the gigantic blonde. His grasp of the English language was somewhat tighter than his older sibling’s. For a second Tony considered asking him to join the team as well, he was kind of a creep and thus friendless. He immediately dismissed that thought when he took stock of the expression on the kid’s face. Loki was definitely not team material. He would probably end up being their enemy one of these days.

“Thanks for calling me a dolt,” Tony responded. “Now how about you scram?”

Steve finally caught up with the group just in time to catch a withering glare from Loki.

“All for the better,” the dark haired child said with much distaste. “I have more important things to do than miss my bus.”

With a roll of his eye, he disappeared.

“What - what did I miss?” Steve asked between puffs on his inhaler.

“I was about to ask Thor to join our group,” Tony said cheerfully, deciding to change the subject.

Thor looked down at Tony questioningly.

“Group?” he asked. “A group for making better test performance or a group for making stronger the bonds of friendship?”

It took Tony a second to interpret what the heck Thor was trying to say, but once he got it he smiled.

“Bonds of friendship dude! We want to be your friend!”

“Oh yes.” Thor was smiling now too. The blonde nodded his head a few times, looking back and forth from Tony to Steve. “You are not my friends.”

The smile dropped from his face. Thor turned away and walked towards where his brother was standing.

“Told you,” Steve muttered under his breath.

“Shut up.” 

Tony took off after Thor. He had to take two steps for every one of the blonde’s, but Tony eventually caught up.

“Thor, buddy come on. We’re not your friends yet, but we could be!”

“You are Tony, yes?” Thor stated more than asked. “Smart mouthed child of much money who is having of no friends due to mopey swinging on playground and he-” Thor pointed to Steve. “-child of the Rogers clan who heaves like a great reinsdyr whenever he runs. Why would I make friends with you?”

“Well for one, we could teach you English.”

Thor looked like he was actually taking that proposal into consideration.

“And,” Tony continued, dragging out the vowel. “If push comes to shove you’ll be needed to rough some guys up.”

The grin that spread across the Scandinavian’s face was quite terrifying.

“I enjoy fighting very much so.”

“Great, that’s great. First meeting is tomorrow by my mopey swing.”

Tony patted him on the arm twice before turning around. He walked back to Steve with his arms held as wide open as his smile.

“My turn to say I told you so.”

Steve heaved a sigh and followed behind Stark, despite his best interests.

 

* * *

“So we have three people, or like two and a half, but that’s great!” Tony shouted as he skipped down the street.

“We need more,” Steve stated, following dutifully behind.

“More?” Tony stopped skipping. He looked at his companion for a second before shrugging his shoulders and continuing on. “Okay, tell me where to find more. I have just officially deemed you the strategist seeing as you can’t do anything physically inclined.”

“Well...”

Both boys came to a halt now that they were in Tony’s front yard. Steve pondered silently as he stood in the grass, tapping his finger on his chin in an almost comical manner. Tony watched with a small smile on his face until Steve just froze.

“Steve, what’s wrong?”

Tony followed the boy’s gaze across the street and landed upon the sight of a perfectly normal boy with glasses walking into a house. He didn’t see why that would inflict Steve with sudden paralysis.

“You - you - you...” the blonde stuttered.

“I what?” Tony asked. “I have great hair? I am always right? I will have a string of girlfriends far more attractive than any you’ll ever have?”

Steve snapped out of his coma and slapped Tony.

“No, believe it or not I wasn’t talking about you specifically.”

“You started a sentence with ‘you’ referring to me, but weren’t talking about me? I’m sorry, but how does that make sense?”

“Just stop it! I was talking about him,” Steve yelped as he pointed across the street to where the other boy had been standing. “You live across the street from Bruce Banner. We should get him!”

“Bruce Banner...”

Tony stared at the dark green house on the other side of the road. Within his mind he was trying to place the name and face to a backstory.

“Bruce Banner, Bruce Banner, Bruce Banner- oh!” Tony snapped his fingers. “You mean the one kid who sits in the back of our class? The one kid everyone avoids more than me, which is surprising seeing as I’m on Hammer’s no-go list? What’s his deal?”

“For the record Tony,” Steve pointed his index finger towards Tony’s face. “Justin is only half the reason people avoid you. Most people don’t talk to you due to the fact that you spend your time sulking and being miserable in what I can only assume is an attempt to get your father’s attention.”

The look Steve gave Tony was as condescending as the boy would likely ever be able to be. Tony matched it raised eyebrow for raised eyebrow.

“You’d be right Steven,” the brunette said his name with as much contempt as possible. “But that’s not what I asked. Tell me about this Bruce weirdo.”

Steve shuffled his feet as he gathered the story in his mind.

“I think it was kindergarten, maybe first grade, when Bruce had this massive temper tantrum over like a broken crayon or something. When I say massive I mean huge, he was throwing chairs and stuff. No one could get him to calm down, our teacher eventually ended up calling Principal Fury who just sort of drug him out of the room by his shirt collar-”

“Really?” Tony interjected.

“Yeah,” Steve continued. “It was terrifying. Funny thing was the next day Bruce came back to school like nothing had changed, except for the fact that no one would talk to him and no one has since.”

Tony gaped at Steve, trying to figure out how much of the story was true. He figured it was believable, Rogers wasn’t one to lie or exaggerate.

“So he just... flips out every time he’s angry?”

Steve nodded his head.

“Sweet!”

Tony dropped his backpack on his lawn and dashed towards the road. He skirted right across the pavement, completely oblivious to the truck that almost ran him over. He vaulted over a row of hedges and pounded on the front door. When no one came to the door he knocked again, keeping up a continuous rap. Still no one answered

He shot a bored look over his shoulder to Steve, who had just now crossed the street accident free. That was when the door was actually opened.

“Ouch!”

Tony’s fist, still knocking on a door that wasn’t there, smacked Bruce on the forehead.

“Oh wow I’m sorry,” Tony jumped back from the door when he heard the shout. “You’re not mad are you because if so, I would really like to see you fly off the handle.”

Steve nudged him in the ribs.

“Tony, don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s the truth. I thought you were a follower of the ‘honesty is the best policy’ policy.”

Bruce watched from his side of the door as they bickered, one eyebrow raised.

“I’m fine and anger free,” the curly haired boy cut in once there was a break in the argument. “Now if you’ll excuse me-”

Bruce grabbed the door and shut it. Just before it closed, Tony shoved his hand between the door and the frame.

“Don’t slam the door Bruce! You’ll cut my fingers off and that would be bad.”

“Please!” Steve interjected before anything happened to anyone’s fingers. “We just want to talk to you.”

After a moment, Bruce opened the door wide enough to peak at the children on his front stoop.

“What do you have to sa-”

Tony pushed the door open and walked into the house. He circled in place, taking in the coat racks and boot trays of the front entryway. Through an open arch on the right he could see a living room. Tony made a beeline for the room, making himself home on the couch. Bruce starred after him, completely flabbergasted.

“I like your couch, it’s very nice looking in a ‘bought this in the 80’s and I refuse to give it up’ sort of way.”

Bruce wasn’t even going to respond to that.

“You might as well come in,” he sighed at Steve.

“Thank you.” Steve nodded as he entered.

Bruce closed the door once everyone was inside.

“Now that you’re comfortable,” Banner turned to Tony. “Why may I ask are you here and could you please leave before my parents get home and ground me for having uninvited guests over?”

Tony set down the issue of Popular Science he had found on the coffee table.

“I am constructing what is turning out to be a team of misfits – besides me of course, I am perfectly normal – and I think you would be the perfect addition.”

Tony crossed his arms and awaited Bruce’s response with a smug look.

“And you think this because…”

“You are a tiny kid who acquires the power to throw heavy objects when angry. I happen to think that that is the best thing since Pokémon cards.”

“Well-“Bruce handed Steve the bowl of peanuts off the coffee table. The blonde had been eyeing them since he walked into the room. “You’d be the first one to think that.”

“I like to think I’m unique.”

Tony grabbed the remote off the couch cushion next to him. He turned the television on and started flipping through channels.

“You wouldn’t happen to have the latest episode of Game of Thrones DVR’ed would you? I missed it when it aired origin-”

Bruce grabbed the remote from his hands and turned the TV off.

“Get off my couch!”

“But the Stark family-“

“Get off my couch!” Bruce shouted again.

Tony stood up from the sofa.

“Are you angry?” he asked, intrigued.

Bruce took him by the shoulders and maneuvered him towards the door.

“I think it’s time for you to leave.”

“I don’t want to.”

Tony stiffened his muscles and shifted his full weight onto Bruce. The smaller brunette almost fell backwards.

“I can’t leave if you can’t move me.”

Bruce sidestepped, leaving Tony to fall backwards onto the floor. With both hands Bruce grabbed his fallen classmate by the ankle and pulled him to the door. Tony laughed gleefully as he slid across the hardwood surface. Steve, not really knowing what do to in this situation, ran ahead of the boys and held open the front door for Bruce.

“Thank you,” Bruce muttered as he drug Tony through.

“Will you at least meet us at the playground tomorrow during recess?” Tony called from the floor.

Bruce deposited him on the front steps, walked back inside, and slammed the front door. It was quickly reopened to let Steve out.

“Maybe.” Bruce said before re-slamming the door.

 

* * *

 

Tomorrow hadn’t come soon enough.

Tony had been up all night thinking about the big meeting, wondering if the team thing would really work or not. During school he played through scenes in his head, imagining the terrified look on Justin’s face when the dork came to taunt him with his toy only to find four kids ready for action. He was the first one out the door when the recess bell had rung.

So far though, he was disappointed. Steve had shown up not to long after Tony had staked out a spot for their congregation, but no one else had. Hammer hadn’t even come to say something nasty. 

“Steve where are they?” Tony whined from his perch on a spring horse. “I made a team, why didn’t they show?”

“Maybe they realized what a terrible idea this really is.”

Steve was leaning against one of the legs that supported the jungle gym tower, throwing woodchips on to the slide and watching them slither down.

“Steve, Steve no!” Tony jumped off the rocking plastic horse. “You can’t bail on me now! You were my first supporter!”

“I was in this more to watch you than anything. We’ll never get away with this.”

Tony was shoulder to shoulder with Steve now.

“Justin gets away with marching his crony around.”

“You have four people,” Steve countered. “Two of which aren’t even here!”

Tony had to admit, Steve was right. Luckily he didn’t have to verbalize his concession.

“Do not ever fear my comrades I am just now making my arrival!”

The unmistakable voice of Thor rang out across the park.

“Umm… I’m here too, I guess.” Bruce called.

Both boys sidled up to their team members under the tower.

“You did come!” Tony beamed.

“Yeah,” Bruce awkwardly shuffled his feet in the woodchip bedding. “What do we do now? You never told me why you made this group.”

“Don’t worry I have a plan.”

Tony herded the three boys together, maneuvering them into position shoulder to shoulder in a single file line. He then began to pace in front of the group like a drill sergeant would his soldiers.

“As you all know, this playground has long been the stomping ground of one Justin Hammer. He has brought pain and misfortune to the fine children of this school. He has gotten away with far too much for far too long,” Tony paraded before the boys, chanting as if he had practiced this speech before – which he had. “Yesterday he stole my most prized possession and I say this has gone too far. I have called upon you three extraordinary gentlemen to help me bring justice to this playground. Do you accept this mission?”

“Yes!” all three boys called out.

Tony halted his pacing and turned a questioning eye on his teammates.

“Yes what?”

“Tony we are not going to say ‘yes sir’ to you,” Bruce replied scathingly.

“Okay whatever.”

Tony returned to his monologue.

“I have constructed a fool proof, multistep plan of attack. Step one: wait for our enemy to rear his ugly head. Step two-”

Tony pivoted to face his companions, dramatically flinging his arms in front of him as he did so. He bent his wrists, providing the boys with a clear view of his palms.

“-I blind him with these bad boys.”

“Are those… flashlight bulbs?” Steve asked.

“Inlayed into the palms of your gloves?” Bruce finished.

Tony nodded his head vigorously. He waved his arms, ricocheting light off the metal poles.

“I made them last night when I couldn’t sleep. The battery packs are fastened around my arms underneath my jacket and the switches are taped to my wrists so that when I bend them the lights turn on and off!” Tony demonstrated his mechanism for the group, bending and un-bending his wrists in a dance of sorts. He was clearly very pleased with himself.

“That’s brilliant!” Bruce exclaimed. He grabbed ahold of Tony’s hand to examine the hot rod red glove closer.

“Well I think they’re kinda dumb. What good are two dim lights in a fight?” a voice declared from above.

Simultaneously, all four boys on the ground looked up. On the topmost level of the jungle gym sat a boisterous blonde haired boy. He was bigger than Steve, but not quite as tall as Tony. A pair of sunglasses was perched on his nose, giving him the impression of a tiny David Caruso.

“Who’s that?” Tony whispered in Bruce’s ear.

“Clint Barton, fourth grade. He’s the kid that sits up there with his sling shot shooting pebbles at the kids below.”

“Oh right.” Tony nodded his head slightly. “How come he doesn’t get in trouble for that?”

“He’s sneaky as heck-” Steve answered this question. “- and Mister Coulson is his foster parent.”

Tony turned back to the boy, who hadn’t stop starring at them.

“How did you know we were going to fight?”

“Please,” Clint drawled.

The blonde rolled his eyes with amounts of sass Tony had only ever seen in himself.

“Did you honestly expect your little pep talk to go unnoticed? Get to the horn, this kind of stuff has to be a secret.”

Clint pointed to the bright yellow trumpet shaped tube at the top of the tower. It was one end of a communication pipe that ended on the ground to the right of the boys. Tony ran to the tube and placed his ear near the outlet. He was pushed to the side when Thor came over and did the same. The brunette was about to push back, but stopped when he noticed the looks on both Bruce and Steve’s faces. He sighed and made room for all four of them.

“So you’re after Hammer,” Clint whispered through the pipe. “Serves him right, the kid is a class A jerk.”

“Why are you so interested?” Steve asked.

“I want a piece of the action. The kid made fun of my hearing aids a while back, and I haven’t quite gotten over it.”

“We already have a team of four, why do we need your help?” Tony responded from their end.

A scoff came through the line.

“First of all, you’re hopeless. Second, from up hear I can take down your enemies before they even reach you and lastly-”

Clint paused. The boys looked around them and watched as various children in the park were pelted with rocks.

“- I never miss,” the boy finished proudly. “So will you accept my offer?”

Tony stood back from the receiver and beckoned the other boys into a huddle.

“Do we need him?” He mouthed the question, hoping to prevent Clint from hearing the discussion.

“Probably,” responded Steve.

Thor vigorously nodded his head while Bruce just shrugged.

“Might as well,” sighed the bespectacled boy.

“Alright,” Tony answered back, leaning over to the tube. “You can join our group, but one word to your dad and we’ll kick you out.”

“Deal!” Clint exclaimed.

He slid to the ground via a fire pole and landed in front of the boys.

“Our price is one package of Oreos and a Snickers bar a piece. We usually get paid up front, but seeing as this is a rushed job-”

“Wait! What do you mean ‘we’?” Tony blurted.

“Клинт, почему вы говорить с этими идиотами?”

All the boys accept Clint jumped at the sudden foreign muttering, Thor might have even screamed a little. Out of nowhere a small redheaded girl appeared behind them.

“Meet my partner.” Clint motioned towards the girl who was barely shoulder high to him.

“What did she say?” Bruce asked.

“She said ‘we come as a pair or not at all’.”

“You speak… whatever it is that she speaks?” Tony looked at Clint skeptically.

Clint shook his head.

“No, are you kidding me? I just fill in what I think’s best whenever she speaks.”

“How do you know if you’re right?” questioned Steve.

“Well, when I’m wrong she kicks me in the shins. At least I think she does that when I’m wrong.”

The blond shrugged his shoulders. The other four boys turned their gaze upon the girl who had now moved to Clint’s right hand side.

“How does one such as herself call herself?”

“You’re asking me for her name, right?” Clint asked Thor.

The larger of the blondes nodded his head.

“I don’t know her name,” was Clint’s response.

“Really?” Tony asked. “Do you know what grade she’s in?”

“No.”

“Her age?”

“Nope.”

“Where she lives?”

“No clue.”

“Do you know anything about her?” Tony questioned, now a bit more than slightly confused.

“I know not to watch Power Puff Girls with her when she’s over at my house because she will act out all their fighting moves on me.”

The boys looked upon Clint in extreme puzzlement.

“Why would you let someone you know nothing about over to your house?” Steve said to Clint.

“She’s cute, mysterious, most likely Russian because we’ve got like fifty Russian kids at this school, and dangerous,” Clint responded automatically. “I dig that.”

Bruce and Steve rolled their eyes while Tony and Thor bobbed their heads in complete understanding.

“You are the most mature fourth grader I have ever met,” responded Bruce.

“I would be a fifth grader like you if I hadn’t run away to the circus when I was six and spent a year on the lamb.”

“Ehhh stop! I don’t want to get sucked further into your world of weird!” Tony waved his arms above his head. When he stopped, he pointed to Clint and the redhead.

“You guys can join. We’re not paying you though!”

“Come on Stark!” Clint objected. “We are hired guns, bringing our services to those in need with means to pay. We don’t come free.”

“You asked to join!”

Clint let out a disgruntled sigh.

“Okay, fine! No payment.”

“Мы не должны принимать платежи от имбецилов любом случае это как кражу конфет от детей,” the redhead muttered darkly.

The boys all turned to look at her.

“Anybody have a clue what she said? I’ve got nothing.” Clint declared.

They all shook their heads.

“Group members!” Thor had turned to look over his shoulder. “With great speed, turn your eyes upon the boy of many annoying phrases walking towards us!”

Thor pointed to a place not too far from their position. At the end of his finger they all saw Justin Hammer, strutting proudly across the lawn with Ivan in tow.

“Get ready guys,” Tony whispered so only they could hear.

Clint scurried back up the tower while the other five spread out.

“Hey Anthony!” Hammer called, still a few feet from the group. “What, did these kids come to make fun of you too? That’s sad, isn’t it sad Ivan?”

His Russian companion said nothing. Justin shrugged and continued to walk.

“Actually-“Tony countered “-they came to help me make a fool out of you! Quick Bruce, get angry!”

Tony turned to his curly companion, urging him forward with a wave of his hand.

“Me? Now?” Bruce pointed to himself, clearly very confused.

“Yes you,” Tony hissed through clenched teeth. He was well aware of the amused looks Hammer was sending his way. “Go flip him over or something!”

“Oh… okay.”

Bruce took a few timid steps forward. His teeth were clenched and his eyes were closed. Everyone watched him expectantly, waiting for the impending explosion of rage.

“Errragh,” he pathetically growled. After a moment he turned back to his team in dismay. “I should have told you before, but I went to a child psychiatrist and got my temper under control. It doesn’t flare up anymo-“

“For the love of God!” Tony shouted. “Thor, follow me! Steve, Clint, Ginger, do whatever it is that you do!”

Tony ran at the now laughing Justin without a second glance towards his not-actually-angry-anymore companion. Thor walked with him, shouting loudly.

“Take this!” Tony yelled.

He thrust his gloves within two inches of Justin’s face, blinding the kid. A barrage of rocks rained upon him from Clint’s position, startling him enough to cause him to trip.

“What the heck!” Justin wailed from the ground. “Stop it you freaks! Ivan, help me!”

The Russian kid had attempted to approach his friend, but every time he neared, Thor would block his path and shout in his native language. After several failed attempts the long haired boy had just walked away. He was nowhere to be found now.

“Hey you guys!” Bruce attempted to yell over the clamor. “Something’s wrong with Steve!”

Bruce’s calls went unheard. Tony was flashing his lights in Justin’s eyes, Thor was shouting, Clint was pelting every inch of their “enemy” he could see, and the girl seemed to have disappeared as well. Regardless, Bruce ran to the blond.

Steve was sitting on the ground near the battling children, clutching his head.

“Steve are you okay?”

“Fine,” Steve panted. “I just need a Band-Aid.” 

Bruce gently pried Steve’s hand away from his forehead. There was a cut above his right brow which was bleeding quite profusely.

“I sort of tripped in all the excitement,” Steve provided as explanation.

“Don’t you worry; I took an online test that said I would grow up to be a doctor.” Bruce assured Steve as he pulled some tissues out of his pocket.

Bruce pressed the Kleenex against the wound. The blood flow from the head injury seemed to slow after a moment. Still, Bruce wanted to be safe.

“Clint!” he shouted up at the tower. “Help me get him to a teacher!”

Steve took possession of the tissues, pressing them against his own head. Bruce drug Steve to a standing position, slinging one of the blonde’s arms over his shoulder and placing one of his own arms around Steve’s waist.

“Right-o!” Clint cried.

Bruce was shocked to find that Clint’s idea of helping was to turn his rocks on the crowd of students now gathered around them. He was sure the intent was to clear a path, but all the slingshot wielding boy did was cause mass hysteria. The kids ran everywhere knowing no place was safe from Clint, making it impossible for Bruce or Steve to move anywhere.

“That didn’t help!” Bruce shouted.

Clint didn’t respond; he was too busy maniacally laughing.

 

* * *

Like a buoy in a raging ocean, the redheaded girl stood amongst the crowd of panicking children watching the chaos around her. She had known the confrontation would boil down to something like this. Tony and Thor were two forces Steve and Bruce could never hope to control and her partner was, well a bit deranged. None of them had had a real plan and if any of them had bothered to open their eyes, they would have noticed the lack of WALL-E in Hammer’s pockets.

“Hello Natasha,” a boy called in Russian.

Hammer’s lackey had joined her in the crowd.

“Hello Ivan,” she responded back in the same tongue.

They stood side by side, but did not look at each other.

“You followed me after I left the fight, why?” he asked.

“Hammer gave you the toy. Give it to me and this whole situation will be over.”

“Justin will not be happy to see Stark back in possession of this robot,” Ivan lamented. He reached into his pocket anyways and placed the toy in her hand. “But your team is unmatched.”

“Seems so,” she said slipping the toy into her own pocket.

The boy slipped away without a word.

Now that her mission was accomplished she began to walk back to the playground. It was about time someone got Clint to stop shooting everyone. Half way there she noticed Banner shouting with Rogers slung over his shoulder. She changed courses and headed for the doors back into the school where she knew the teachers would be standing, trying to figure out what was going on.

“Miss Romanoff!”

She looked to her left. Mister Coulson had spotted her first and was running towards her along with her teacher, Miss Hill. She must have told him Natasha’s name. Previously he had been just as in the dark about her as his son.

“Natasha, what is going on out here?” Hill asked.

She pointed backwards at the two boys struggling to get off the playground.

“Someone’s hurt!” Hill shouted. “I’ll go get them.”

The tall brunette raced off the go help the children. Coulson stayed with Natasha, surveying the scene. He looked over the crowd, seeing Tony wrestle with Justin, Thor shouting, and Clint perched at the top of the tower.

“My son is part of this, isn’t he?” The man asked Natasha.

She nodded her head in response. He didn’t look surprised.

“And the riot? That was his doing?”

Natasha didn’t have to answer, it wasn’t really a question.

“Why don’t you go inside,” Coulson sighed before dashing off into the crowd.

 

* * *

 

Tony lay face down on his desk, ignoring the tiny wads of paper being shot at him. Clint had been doing that for the last hour ever since they were put in detention. Thor was there as well, doodling mystical looking beasts in a notebook. The other three members of their team had gotten off scot-free and Hammer… Tony didn’t want to think about Hammer.

The kid was in the nurse’s office crying more about his imaginary injuries than Steve was about his actual wound. He had started playing the wounded act as soon as Coulson had pulled them apart, which was why Tony was in detention. He sort of regretted forming the team now. He went through all this trouble and he still didn’t have his toy back.

A soft crackling broke the silence of the detention room. Their supervisor, Mister Sitwell, put down his newspaper and looked to the ceiling. The room’s PA system was being paged.

“Mister Sitwell?”  a female voiced asked over the speaker. It was one of the office secretaries.

“I’m here. What do you need?” the teacher responded.

‘Would you please send Anthony Stark to the office?”

Tony raised his head from the desk. Everyone in the room was looking at him.

“You heard the lady,” Sitwell declared.

Reluctantly, Tony rose from his seat. He looked to his companions, noting their surprised expressions. “Be safe” Clint mouthed before Tony left the room.

As he trudged down the hall to the office a million paranoid thoughts buzzed in his head. Had Hammer actually gotten seriously hurt? Was Fury going to suspend him, or expel him? As he passed, he looked out the windows near the main office. They provided a full view of the visitor’s parking lot. There were a few cars parked there, but only one in particular caught his eye. It was a glistening black Rolls Royce so expertly restored it looked just as it had when it rolled off the assembly line in the 1940’s. It was his father’s car.

Things were a lot worse than Tony expected.

He walked into the office with his head bowed, scooting right past the secretary and into Principal Fury’s office. His father was sitting in the large red chair placed in front of Fury’s desk. Both men looked to Tony when he walked in. Fury’s gaze lingered but his father quickly looked away.

“Tony,” Fury waived him further into the room. “Please sit down.”

Tony took the seat next to his father. He was very careful not to look at the man, knowing full well the disappointment he would find in Howard’s eyes.

“Your father and I were just discussing your behavioral mishap today and how it might be linked to your recent move.”

Tony scoffed as he sunk further into his chair. He had a feeling this trip to the office was going to be a real joy.

“Do you have something to say Anthony?” his father asked coldly.

Tony flinched. He had called him Anthony, that wasn’t a good sign.

“Speaking as the kid who had this… behavioral mishap, was that how you put it?” Tony mustered up any sarcasm he had, using it as a shield. “I say it has more to do with Justin and how he’s a toy stealing jerk.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and looked Fury in the eye. He expected the man to utter some scathing retort, scolding him for his tone and diverting the topic off the playground incident. The Principal simply nodded his head.

“I am looking into Hammer’s part in the conflict. His disciplinary record shows that he has a knack for riling people up, but if it’s all the same to you-“ Fury stood from his chair. “I’d like you to work things out with your father.”

Fury walked around his desk to stand next to Howard. The elder Stark rose from his chair as well.

“The school day is just about over Mister Stark; feel free to take your son home now.”

“Of course. Nice meeting you Principal Fury.”

Howard shook Fury’s hand wearing what Tony knew was a fake smile. His father left the room as soon as he was done shaking hands without so much as one look at Tony. The brunette followed him silently. They didn’t say a word to each other until they were almost to the parking lot.

“I never wish to be called to this school again unless it is for something positive, do you understand Anthony?”

Howard looked at his son. His facial expression was every bit as harsh as his tone of voice.

“Yes father,” Tony mumbled.

“I am not moving us back so just let go of any ideas you may have to the otherwise.”

Tony’s heart sank. He’d known that convincing his father to go back was a long shot, but to hear it officially shut down still hurt. The corners of his eyes stung. It was a precursor to the tears that threatened to form. He stopped walking and turned his head away from his father.

Howard was caught up in his rant and failed to notice when his son was no longer at his side.

“You seem to be doing just fine with the ruffians you met here anyways. Now I have to go back to work, so ride the bus home or-”

Howard had turned to address his son. He was a little surprised to find Tony not at his side, but a few feet behind him sniffling away tears. If Tony had looked up then, he would have seen his father’s expression soften.

“Are those gloves what you flashed in that kid’s eyes?” Howard asked as he walked back to Tony.

The young child rubbed his nose before answering.

“Yes, I … I used two of your flashlights.”

Tony held his gloved hands to his father, fully expecting another lecture. He hadn’t asked to use the flashlights when he had made the gloves.

“That’s very clever Tony,” Howard ruffled his son’s hair, further mussing the untidy locks. “I’ll see you later.”

Tony was afforded a small smile before Howard walked away. Tony turned around just as his father walked through the doors out to his car. He was a little speechless; his father very rarely praised him. There was a small smile on his face when Clint found him in the hallway.

“Hey, Stark!” the short blonde yelled. “Come here!”

Clint was standing a few feet from Tony with the rest of the group. Everyone was chatting, accept for the red-haired girl. They were gathered around the nurse’s office. Judging by the bandage on Steve’s forehead, the shortest of the three blondes had just been discharged.

Tony ran to them. Bruce greeted him with a smile.

“Clint’s dad just invited us all to come over!” the bespectacled boy announced.

Tony crinkled his brow in confusion.

“Mister Coulson invited over the kids who got his son in detention?” he asked.

Clint nodded his head vigorously.

“He said he was happy I’m making more friends who share my interests, even if those interests are mayhem and destruction.”

“He also said that upon returning to their house he would create various baked goods!” Thor interjected.

“Cookies!” Steve confirmed.

Tony watched all three blondes before him, jumping for joy. He pondered whether or not he should go, his father was expecting him to go home. The sight of Mister Coulson baking cookies was just too much for him to pass up though.

“All right, I’m in!”

All the boys cheered, and started a round of high-fives.

“Last one to my car is a rotten egg!” Clint shouted.

He quickly dashed away, ignoring the dirty looks from the hall monitor. Bruce, Steve, and Thor were right behind Clint, dashing around the students who had just been released from their classes. Tony was about to follow when he felt a tug on his left sleeve. He looked to the source of the disturbance; it was Clint’s partner.

“Do you need something?” Tony asked.

She shook her head and pointed to him.

“Me?” he questioned again. “I need something?”

This time she nodded her head and pulled her backpack around to the front of her. He watched as she reached in, fishing around the inside before finally finding what she wanted. It was his WALL-E toy.

“Where… where did you get this?”

She didn’t respond, as per usual, simply placed the plastic figure in his hand and walked towards where the other boys had run off.

Tony stared blankly at the toy in his hands. Just when he had thought he had lost the precious object forever, he had gotten it back. The smile on his face grew ten times bigger. He laughed without reservation as he ran down the halls after the five people he would now call friends, proudly holding the toy above his head.

Maybe there was a future for this team thing.


	2. Household Disagreement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce has a problem with online tests and now everyone has a problem with online tests.

Bruce's hand hovered over his mouse.

Numerous thoughts ran through his head as he stared down his computer screen. Did he really want to click the button? Was he ready to read the results? He took a deep breath, trying to decide if he was really better off knowing.

Then he figured he was being silly and decided to click.

He moved the mouse, found the results button, closed his eyes, tapped the left button, and-

"Hey Brucey! What are you up to?"

A pair of hands clasped Bruce's shoulders as the person who had just spoken, really shouted, in his ear leaned over his shoulder. The mussy haired brunette jumped a little in shock, but calmed down when he realized the voice belonged to an eleven year old boy, not a kidnapper.

"Do you ever stop taking online tests?"

It was Tony. This didn't surprise Bruce much. None of his other newfounds friends came into his house unannounced. Well Clint did, but he only ever took food and left. He never snuck up on Bruce and he certainly didn't seem to be on a never ending quest to get him to freak out and throw things.

"Seriously," Tony asked in mock concern, "Is this a problem for you? Do you need an intervention? Can I get you a spot on 'My Strange Addictions'?"

"Can I get you to stop coming in to my house uninvited, after school, when my parents are still working and I'm not supposed to have friends over?" Bruce asked, the concern in his voice very real. "The rule hasn't changed since the first time you did this nearly two months ago."

"Not unless you start locking your side door."

"Then I will."

"Then I'll have Thor bust it down!" Tony countered.

"Like you wouldn't get in massive trouble for causing property damage."

"Fine then! I'll have Clint pick the front door! It's just a simple pin and tumbler setup, I've seen him pick more complicated things."

Bruce stared at his friends, eyebrows raised.

"Your dad's safe?" he asked.

"Yes," Tony answered. His slightly dejected tone led Bruce to believe that Howard Stark wasn't hiding anything of real interest like the boys had expected. "You know, the kid isn't lying when he says he learned a lot in the circus. Or when he says he was actually in the circus for that matter."

"So he really did know that clown..." Bruce drifted off in thought, before snapping back to his current conversation. "Whatever, just stay out of my house."

"Whatever, just move over so I can sit on that chair."

Tony moved from behind the chair and nudged his way onto Bruce's seat. Bruce obligingly gave him access to half.

"What are you testing this time?" Tony asked, looking over Bruce's computer. "Which Hogwarts House are you in... Bruce I didn't know you liked Harry Potter."

Tony sounded surprised and maybe just a bit excited.

"I happen to love the series. Is that a problem Tony?"

Bruce jumped in shock again when his friend let out what he could only describe as a high pitched squeal.

"I just knew you were going to be the best friend in all of creation," Tony gushed. "Great job getting Ravenclaw!"

"Oh did I!"

He realized now, that after all his fussing, he hadn't even bothered to read his results.

"Wait no don't do anything!" Bruce yelped. "I wanted to read those."

"Already refreshed the page," Tony stated without a single hint of remorse. "You can read it when I get the same results."

* * *

 

Bruce was halfway through completing the test a second time - maybe he was being difficult, but he just wanted to read his Ravenclaw results not Tony's - when someone knocked on Bruce's door.

Bruce didn't hear them at first; they were small polite knocks. However, when the knocks were followed by persistent pounding and shouts, Bruce heard.

"Who the heck is at my door?"

He stood up from the computer chair and walked towards the door. Sneaking a peek out the front window did not garner him the answers he hoped for.

Tony perked up from his resting position on the desk. Bruce had been going through the test too slow for his attention span.

"I don't know, probably the others. I told them to come find me if I didn't come back in twenty minutes."

"The others?" Bruce questioned as if he didn't already know the answer.

When he got a bit closer to the door he could make out the voices of people. Three boys and a girl, muttering darkly.

"You ditched everyone and came here." Bruce turned on his heels and stared down his companion. "Tony you don't just leave your friends."

"I came over here to get you. We were chilling at my house and I decided we needed your presence. So yeah, maybe I did get a bit distracted but you know, whatever." Tony waved his hands at the door. "Don't be rude Bruce, let them in."

The shorter boy rolled his eye, but did as was suggested. When he opened the door Bruce found exactly what he was expected. Three blond boys, all of various heights and one redheaded girl. Thor, Steve, Clint, and Natasha. They finally knew her name now, thanks to rollcall on a field trip last week.

"Friend Banner!" shouted Thor, "Is the smallest man of the Stark house here?"

"Yes Thor, he's been here for awhile." Bruce replied, hand still on the door.

"Then why hasn't he come back?" Clint elbowed his way past his friends. He pried the door open against Bruce's hands and stepped into the house. "Hey, fuzz for brains! Didn't we have an agreement?"

Tony spun the computer chair around.

"You mean me coming back and beating you at hopscotch ten ways to Sunday?" he asked indignantly. "I figured I'd stay here with Bruce and save you the shame."

"Вы должны быть бредовым" Natasha spoke aloud.

"I agree!" Clint confirmed.

Steve entered the house as well, but only after receiving permission from Bruce.

"Guys don't start fighting." The shortest blond added to the conversation. "We came here to gather up the group for hopscotch, but if Tony and Bruce want to play something else than that is okay."

"No, I can come play," Bruce insisted. "I've only been filling out a quiz-"

"Yet another online test Bruce?" Thor asked with raised eyebrows and a look of concern. "Are you sure this habit of yours is not an issue?"

"Do you need a spot on my strange addictions?" Clint asked also looking concerned.

"Hey," Tony mumbled from the desk chair, "that's exactly what I said."

Bruce's friends looked to each other, all wearing matching expressions of worry. For two solid minutes they did nothing but discuss weaning Bruce off the internet before the young brunett put his foot down, literally.

"That's enough guys!" Bruce uttered with a light stomp of his foot. Tony's eyes grew in excitement, but no further physical displays followed Bruce's words. "I said I would go outside with you alright, plus I see absolutely  no harm in furthering my involvement with a beloved novel series."

Clint furrowed his eyebrows and gave the computer screen a glance.

"Oh my God, guys! He's taking a house sorting quiz!" yelped the blond.

With a few short bounds, Clint was at the computer. He hip checked Tony off his perch on the swivel chair and refreshed the computer page.

"Common room next to the kitchen here I come!"

Steve, Thor, and Natasha shared a look before they too scrambled to the computer.

Bruce may have rolled his eyes a bit, but mostly he smiled.

* * *

 

James used to like his neighborhood.

Days like today were a joy. Gentle breezes rustled the leaves on the trees creating a soft murmur outside. The few sparring clouds looked airy and soft. The sun would reflect off his prosthetic arm, scattering cool light patterns everywhere. You could hear the birds chirping and families outside doing yard work or just goofing around.

But since the new kid moved in, things were weird. For instance, Steve, his best and most rational friend was standing in the Banner family's front yard with a red scarf and a broom. In front of him the tall Scandinavian kid and the creepy redhaired girl were pelting each other with soccer balls. The new kid and Cliff (Kurt... Clyde?) were beating swinging baseball bats wildly as they straddled brooms. All while wearing scarves, and all oblivious to the fourth grader running around in bright yellow flapping his arms like wings. Plus there were several hula hoops hanging from tree branches.

Fricken weird.

"Steve," he called as he approached the strange scene, "your mom wanted you to know that dinner's ready now."

His blond friend turned away from the kids in the yard to greet James.

"Oh ok. Thanks Bucky. I'll go home in a bit, I really should resolve this argument first."

"I don't think it'll stop for a while longer," sighed the curly haired kid not too far from Steve. Bruce, if James remembered correctly.

Bucky watched the strange broom kids with Steve, fully agreeing with Bruce's sentiments. All the kids looked dedicated to their actions, whatever they were.

"Can you... uh... what is this Steve?"

"Quidditch," Bruce responded matter o factly. His statement did nothing to clear Bucky's confusion. Steve seemed to pick up on that.

"He hasn't read the books Bruce or watched more than like five minutes of the movies." Steve faced Bucky before giving a full explanation. "You know the Harry Potter books I'm always reading Buck?"

James smirked. "You mean the things that made you draw that scar on your forehead in marker for a month? How could I forget?"

"Shut up," Steve blushed. "Well we all took this test to see which dorm we would be in if we went to the magic school. Bruce and Tony got into the blue dorm while Thor and I got on the red dorm. Natasha tested for green while Clint was placed in yellow."

Steve pointed to each child as he said their name. Bucky noticed the scarves they all wore matched the color of the dorms they were hypothetically placed in. Also that Cliff/Kurt/Clyde was not Cliff/Kurt/Clyde.

"Now the yellow dorm is a perfectly good dorm, but Tony being the jerk he is decided to tease Clint for living in it. Clint of course defended himself as did Natasha. That snowballed into a giant argument. So we decided to play the big sport from the books to settle the debate."

"Even though there really isn't anything to settle, just Tony's ego to keep intact," chimed Bruce.

"We gathered up the brooms and balls, then organized into teams. Clint, Nat, and I versus Tony and the begrudged Bruce and Thor."

James waited for more explanation, but again there was no more.

"So let me get this straight. Your solution to an argument over fictional things was to, I'm assuming, throw balls through hoops while beating each other with objects."

"Traditionally you're not supposed to beat each other. The situation has dissolved"

"I see."

James observed the playing field. He could see how the game could be fun, but the brooms and the idiots made it a bit difficult.

"And the kid in yellow?"

Steve honestly looked surprised that Bucky mentioned him, as if he had forgotten the kid was still around.

"Oh Sam, he's acting as a ball you have to hunt down. His enthusiasm is very high, but only because we said he could be a bird so some flapping results."

James nodded. It was the reaction Steve wanted.

He let Steve and Bruce go back to their attempts to control the situation. The two kids with bats were still swinging at each other. The red headed girl was on Thor's shoulders calmly braiding his long hair while he attempted to swat at her. And Sam was still flapping away.

James took a step back and waved goodbye to his friend.

"I'll go let your mom know what you're doing. Don't forget to come home and eat or else I'll just eat your food." he called.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever Bucky" Steve answered as he pushed to kids apart.

Bucky turned and walked away.

Fricken weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy cow I am so sorry this took so long to put out.  
> I want to thank you all for reading this, and anyone who's willing to come back to my story after so long. Guilt and your kind words motivated me to finish the draft that's been sitting on my computer and post it. Any further chapters will probably be shorter like this one and irregular.
> 
> I know somewhere I typed out a list of ideas for more chapters, but if you have any please feel free to say them. I write better with prompts. 
> 
> Also, any spin off stories, art, whatever is totally okay as long as you credit me somehow and show me. I'd love to see/read other people's work.

**Author's Note:**

> also featured on my fanfiction account under the same author name
> 
> (I may add more chapters, if persuaded)


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